I want to ask a question about toilet paper, yes, I know what may be going through your head, but I am going to ask anyways. Do you think about how your ass feels when you leave the bathroom? Do people really think, “Wow my ass is clean as a whistle and baby soft? I am so glad I bought XYZ TP.” I am so tired of watching commercials where people are excited about how clean they feel and the fact that “everybody goes”. Well of course we do, duh. 

There are questions about how clean you feel, how soft it is and now we are being told that using toilet paper alone is like showering with your clothes on. I am here to tell you I have yet to wipe with my pants pulled up. My only concern is not having my finger go through the paper, give me that and I am happy. It beats using a corncob.

And how about the bears and having balls of TP stuck to their fur. That is what the hair is for, to catch those little balls. This is where the term dingle berry comes from. The hair serves a purpose, and if it bothers you that much then get a Brazilian. No muss, no fuss, and no more dingle berries. Now where is that Sears and Roebucks.