No I Do Not Have a Job Asshat!

I have been unemployed for a while and I have to say it sucks. People are real condescending when they have a job; you don’t and they know you are praying for the one they have. No way douche bag, you ain’t getting it I am here to tell you. I like the way they hold that little carrot under your nose and laugh as you roll over begging for a belly rub. I have been told; drive 300 miles, pay for a hotel room and we will reimburse you. Oh wait; ”I am sorry I forgot to tell you I have a job and you don’t, So right after you spend the little bit of money you do not have, we are not even going to call you to tell you we think you suck and you are not getting the job. Yeah honey, use those swollen fingers to e-mail us. We will not e-mail you back. Oh and if you think you can call and speak to one of us well, let me wipe the tears from my eyes as I laugh convulsively at your naiveté, you ignorant poor bitch”.

I have driven 150 miles one way, spent five hours talking to everyone in the building. The janitor thought I had a chance, but you know what the deal is. I could say it is the economy, the national debt; I mean I did try to tell Obama “don’t do it man, no we cannot!” Maybe it is the one thing no one talks about, shhhhhhh I am old. Now I know that sounds like I am in my eighties. Truth be told at least then I could be a greeter at WallyWorld, cuz I think that is a requisite. However, over 50 obviously means worn out, washed up, rode hard and put away wet.

The sad thing is that I am not alone. I know many people who are in the same boat I am in and let me tell you it is hard. When no one wants to hire you, where does that leave you? I figured I could be a prostitute, but I want a guy to look me in the eyes and he can’t do that while fumbling for my breast that is dangling around my knees. No I figure I would be paying them and that would defeat the purpose of that now wouldn’t it?